Friday, June 6, 2014

10th entry 10-19-88

Here comes the next one folks. Spelling errors and all.

     It's not working! S seems to be growing further and further away. More and more distant. Zack said I should talk to him but every time I try he walks away. Zack also said that S mentioned something about the fact that I hang around too many guys but that can't be true. I spend all my time with him. The jealousy bit doesn't fit him. I don't understand what's happening. I don't seem to have any control over my life anymore, I just let things happen. (welcome to being a teenager) GOD! I kneed (yes, I spelled it that way) help! I feel crazy sometimes, like I just might let go. (let go of what?) I feel like giving up on S but I can't. I know he cares but why does he lie to me? The stories and lies are driving me mad. What can I do? If he won't talk to me or let me talk to him then.....? I just want his trust. You can't love someone you don't trust. RIGHT? I can't go on forever like this. What if this is it? I don't want to live without him. (oh the drama woman!) I do care too much. I never thought there was such a thing as caring too much but I've done it. (oh yay, what an achievement!) I just can't stop. I've never stopped caring about anyone, nor will I. (just you wait toots)
     My parents return in less than a week. Well actually it is a week. WOW! They've been gone almost a month already. It sure hasn't felt like it. I sort of miss them. I've had fun though. I probably still will. They've been cool lately. It's good.

I like how I ended it like that. It's good. I'm clearly the predecessor to 'It's all good'. I also think it is funny that I wrote that I'd probably still have fun. I wonder if I had any odds on that one.

No comments:

Post a Comment