I recently was able to interview the newest member of the Warwick pack. It was an enlightening experience. Being able to see the life of a dog in Campbell is a rare treat as they are so often reluctant to divulge their life experiences. He was worried that he might have said too much so I did accommodate him in that I allowed him to review the article prior to publication and redact what he thought might incriminate him or alter his lifestyle.
Interviewer: So, let's start at the beginning, right?
Marty: The beginning as you see it or the true beginning?
I: You tell me..
M: Well, since this is about my current life.. Is that a ball?!
I: No, it is my phone.
M: Oh, looks like my.. Oh did you smell that?! I think I farted!
I: Can we talk about your life?
M: Oh, yeah. Sorry. So I came to my true home on April 1, 2013. My leg hurt and they wouldn't let me play with the other kids much. I really didn't understand what was going on but then they gave me this lovely spoonful of peanut butter and everything was nice and fuzzy. I slept for the next 6 weeks.
I: Did they drug you? Why did your leg hurt?
M: Drug? I promise I did not drag anything anywhere and I'm not to blame! It must have been the little white one. He seems to be in charge around here. Leg? What is a leg? Wait a minute.. who are you and why are you interrupting my dinner time?
I: You are welcome to eat and talk at the same time. We were discussing your leg hurting..
M: Oh yeah, there was this giant thing that made a lot of noise and it hit me. It was really quite rude as I was just trying to ascertain if I should pee on it or merely sniff it. It broke me. I didn't really like that and I though it was awful. Then these people put it all back together, I guess. My brain hadn't really decided to work yet. Still hasn't honestly. I'm busy growing. Hey..I heard a squeaky toy!!
I: No, you didn't. A duck flew by.
M: I think it might have been a squeaky. I best go check that out.
I: Marty, come!
M: I'm here! I'm right here! What do you want? A sit? I can do down too! How about a paw?
I: Your life. This house. You were saying?
M: Huh? Can we talk about bacon instead? I like bacon. I like steak too. I'm also pretty partial to those little tiny cheesy bites that my mummy sometimes gives me when no one else is looking only the little white devil can smell them on my breath and he comes running at me and ...have I peed recently?
I: Yes, I just saw you do so in the yard. On the tomato plant? Do you remember?
M: Hmmm? Who are you and why are you here? MOMMM!!! I want dinner!! Or breakfast.. or a treat, or..um... hey... WHERE ARE MY BALLS??????
To be continued...
At this point, our interview for the day was over. I was ushered out by the 'leader' of the pack and am hoping to go back after dinner time for another go. Dear readers, cross your fingers. Trying to get the truth out of an adolescent German Shepard Dog is quite possibly the most difficult but possibly rewarding experience of my life.
