Good news readers! I have found the green spiral bound notebook! That means I don't have to hoard the few entries I had left in the current book. There are definitely some gaps in time but whatever, like ohmigod, it is totally tubular! Sorry, had to fall into 80's high school speak for a second there. Anyway, enjoy!
Scott wants me to get back together with him. (no wonder I only weighed 90 lbs. in high school, I clearly never had time to eat) I am really mixed up as to what to do. (well you kind of answered your own dilemma there, if you have to stop to think about it...) I had the chance for a perfect love and I threw it away. Twice. (good god, what the hell is a perfect love in your mind you silly addled child?) Scott wants to break up with his girlfriend and I'm afraid I would be just an excuse. I don't love him anymore. (then what the fuck is there to be mixed up about? ugh, I'm getting sick of you) Well, I do but not as much. I love him as a good friend and I don't want to risk ruining that. (don't worry, he'll be in and out of your life for a really really long time and actually when the friendship does end, you'll be really bummed out because it wasn't even over something that should have ended it) Besides, its time to go on with my life. (Christ woman, who will be your 'moving on')
19th entry ( I really hope that I eventually stop with the numbering of my entries) 11-3-88
Well I've been put on stage crew for the school play. (I totally remember this time frame and it was so much fun!) Zack's on it too. It's pretty fun but it's lots of hard work. ( I totally don't remember hard work, I remember lots of goofing off and laughter. I also remember not knowing that you never say 'good luck' to actors and when I did the first night of the play, everyone totally freaked out, I was so devastated.) I'm doing it so I can be with Dan and Zack. (c'mon, is anyone really even a little bit shocked about this revelation? You certainly weren't doing it for the hard work or fun since you don't seem to be able to do anything that doesn't involve a boy) Zack is a great friend and I know I can trust him. I don't know Dan very well but I sort of like him. (what, you aren't in love already?) He's funny but I know I don't have any chance whatsoever. But I can keep dreaming can't I? (oh please do, dream away little girl) I think I'm probably going to start smoking again. (did I seriously spend time making that decision? Why oh why did I choose so wrong? Look annoying little girl, you deciding to do that has made for a lifetime struggle for me. Thanks.) I'll watch it and I'll try not to get addicted (I'm making sarcastic snorting noises here) but I just want to. Kevin might get me some if I ask him. Kian might too but I don't want Kian to know I smoke because he might tell Mom and Baba. (my poor big brother. He walked the line between being the cool older brother and not letting me get into too much trouble quite well)
See you soon for another installment of my annoying teenage self!
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Monday, July 28, 2014
16th and 17th entries
Yup, now that I'm 40 I have so much more wisdom to impart on my teenage self.
16th entry 10-28-88
Mom and Baba came home last night. They gave me a whole bunch of stuff. It was really cool. (that is all you have to say?! At least describe the cool stuff and give me more to make fun of for god's sake!)
That is apparently all I had to say that day. Teenagers are so annoying!
17th entry 11-1-88
Well last night was Halloween. It was pretty dull. I just sat around. I get all the junk left over. So I don't mind. S and I broke up (finally! Wait, are you sure? Is he going to just pop back up in two days? Please let this be the end. I'm sick of myself at this point) but we are still good friends. I miss Scott. (of course you do, what would you do all day if you didn't spend time obsessing over a boy?) I haven't spoken to him in ages. He's such a great friend. He always helps me when I'm upset so I try to do the same.
(this next part is so embarrassing that I almost omitted it but there wouldn't be any fun in this if I wasn't truly embarrassed. The worst part is I don't even know why it feels so embarrassing) I found a new creek by my house. It's the same one as the creek by Burns. (we had lived in a house that backed to a creek and I remember spending hours and hours down there by myself. It was pretty cool because the people who owned the house before us had lived there for like 50 years and used to throw their junk in the creek so I was always finding cool shit like old bottles. There was even the frame of an old roadster down there. Anyway..) It's my creek. It's really pretty there. I don't think I'd ever take anyone I know there. (because it isn't public property or anything, yes you own the entire creek) I can only think of 1 or 2 people (so that would be someone, wouldn't it?) who would really appreciate its beauty. Brian Zimmerman (what is my obsession with this poor guy?), Arjang, and maybe Dan Rawlinson (sorry to Dan but I can't even imagine why I added him to the list and not one of my closest friends or cousins like Neda or Iris) But only Arjang could ever go there. I doubt Brian or Dan would ever go anywhere with me. (probably because you are a fucking crazy teenager and they are hoping they don't end up in your blog one day)
So I wonder who the hell will be at the center of my w
16th entry 10-28-88
Mom and Baba came home last night. They gave me a whole bunch of stuff. It was really cool. (that is all you have to say?! At least describe the cool stuff and give me more to make fun of for god's sake!)
That is apparently all I had to say that day. Teenagers are so annoying!
17th entry 11-1-88
Well last night was Halloween. It was pretty dull. I just sat around. I get all the junk left over. So I don't mind. S and I broke up (finally! Wait, are you sure? Is he going to just pop back up in two days? Please let this be the end. I'm sick of myself at this point) but we are still good friends. I miss Scott. (of course you do, what would you do all day if you didn't spend time obsessing over a boy?) I haven't spoken to him in ages. He's such a great friend. He always helps me when I'm upset so I try to do the same.
(this next part is so embarrassing that I almost omitted it but there wouldn't be any fun in this if I wasn't truly embarrassed. The worst part is I don't even know why it feels so embarrassing) I found a new creek by my house. It's the same one as the creek by Burns. (we had lived in a house that backed to a creek and I remember spending hours and hours down there by myself. It was pretty cool because the people who owned the house before us had lived there for like 50 years and used to throw their junk in the creek so I was always finding cool shit like old bottles. There was even the frame of an old roadster down there. Anyway..) It's my creek. It's really pretty there. I don't think I'd ever take anyone I know there. (because it isn't public property or anything, yes you own the entire creek) I can only think of 1 or 2 people (so that would be someone, wouldn't it?) who would really appreciate its beauty. Brian Zimmerman (what is my obsession with this poor guy?), Arjang, and maybe Dan Rawlinson (sorry to Dan but I can't even imagine why I added him to the list and not one of my closest friends or cousins like Neda or Iris) But only Arjang could ever go there. I doubt Brian or Dan would ever go anywhere with me. (probably because you are a fucking crazy teenager and they are hoping they don't end up in your blog one day)
So I wonder who the hell will be at the center of my w
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
14th entry 10-26-88
The saga continues my friends and faithful readers!
YUCK!! English is driving me CRAZY. OH-WELL! ( I wish I had some idea of why..) It seems as though things might work between S and I. (Christ, really? just when I had some hope for you) Just when I had made up my mind to break up with him, it seems ok (no! Don't get sucked back in!) but what about tomorrow? What if it only goes for one day and then we fight again? I don't think I can take it. (then break up with him you fool) 'What if' keeps going through my mind. (yeah, I hate to tell you this but get used to it, you tend to spend most of your life wasting time on what ifs)
And just because I made you wait so long..
15th entry 10-27-88
My parents come home today. GOD, has it really been a whole month? It doesn't seem like it. (yeah and you clearly wasted it. I didn't see one thing about party or I got away with it) Brian Zimmerman is giving up in English. He's a really smart guy but now that Mr. Sluga (dude, Mr. Sluga was awesome!) isn't here he seems to think it's not worth his time. I'm trying to get him to do his work but I don't think I'm as effective as Mr. Sluga was. (funny thing is I totally remember this time frame. Mr. Sluga was this great teacher who left right after the year started and it really bummed me out. I have no idea who replaced him but I remember being really upset. It kind of hurt that a teacher would bail on his students) I don't know why I care but I do. He just seems like a nice guy and I want to help. Mrs. Mangels isn't going to do him a bit of good. (wow, apparently Mrs. Mangels is who replaced Mr. Sluga and clearly I did NOT like her) She won't try to help him she'll just get mad at him for not doing his work. (was I guessing or is this what was happening?) He needs pushed into doing his work but I'm not so sure I should be the one doing the pushing. (ya think?)
So what the heck happened with S? I didn't even mention him in the last entry. Is that how quickly I moved on or was I just so bummed about Mr. Sluga and Brian Zimmerman? Guess we'll find out soon...
YUCK!! English is driving me CRAZY. OH-WELL! ( I wish I had some idea of why..) It seems as though things might work between S and I. (Christ, really? just when I had some hope for you) Just when I had made up my mind to break up with him, it seems ok (no! Don't get sucked back in!) but what about tomorrow? What if it only goes for one day and then we fight again? I don't think I can take it. (then break up with him you fool) 'What if' keeps going through my mind. (yeah, I hate to tell you this but get used to it, you tend to spend most of your life wasting time on what ifs)
And just because I made you wait so long..
15th entry 10-27-88
My parents come home today. GOD, has it really been a whole month? It doesn't seem like it. (yeah and you clearly wasted it. I didn't see one thing about party or I got away with it) Brian Zimmerman is giving up in English. He's a really smart guy but now that Mr. Sluga (dude, Mr. Sluga was awesome!) isn't here he seems to think it's not worth his time. I'm trying to get him to do his work but I don't think I'm as effective as Mr. Sluga was. (funny thing is I totally remember this time frame. Mr. Sluga was this great teacher who left right after the year started and it really bummed me out. I have no idea who replaced him but I remember being really upset. It kind of hurt that a teacher would bail on his students) I don't know why I care but I do. He just seems like a nice guy and I want to help. Mrs. Mangels isn't going to do him a bit of good. (wow, apparently Mrs. Mangels is who replaced Mr. Sluga and clearly I did NOT like her) She won't try to help him she'll just get mad at him for not doing his work. (was I guessing or is this what was happening?) He needs pushed into doing his work but I'm not so sure I should be the one doing the pushing. (ya think?)
So what the heck happened with S? I didn't even mention him in the last entry. Is that how quickly I moved on or was I just so bummed about Mr. Sluga and Brian Zimmerman? Guess we'll find out soon...
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