Yup Ladies and Gents, there is more. After your wonderful reception of my last diary entry, I can't help but post more. Here is my 3rd diary entry. It actually says that. 3rd entry - (why the hell was I keeping count?) I skipped the 2nd entry because I went on and on about it being John Lennon's bday and it was really boring. The only highlight is that some guy named Zach asked me to the winter formal. But I sort of glossed over that bit. You'd think it would have merited a bit more attention.
Well I have a new boyfriend. (bear in mind this is only 4 days after my last post where I couldn't decide between getting engaged and 2 other guys I liked or maybe even loved) His name is S (I did write his entire name but since I am friends with him on Facebook, I thought I'd save him and mostly me the embarrassment). I met him Friday and I went over to his house on Saterday (yes, I couldn't spell days of the week apparently). We kissed for about an hour and a half then I had to go. I babysat Kendra last night. (I have no idea who Kendra is anymore) Golly she sure can get on a person's nerves. I had one nerve when I woke up this morning and she got on it. Anyway. I really like S. Maybe love. (oh for fuck's sake, really Mitra??) He writes poetry too. He read me some. It is quite beautiful. So is he. Yesterday he told me I was beautiful. he was the first besides my parents and relatives. Even Scott never said that to me. I thought I love him but I suppose I did a lot of growing up over the summer and he didn't. He told me he loves me still but at the time he was together with Jenny. how anybody can do something like that is beyond me. I don't really talk to him anymore. I'm too tired to finish. (finish? It is a diary silly little girl. There is no end... )
And just for fun..here is the next entry. Titled 4th entry. Oct. 10 1988
I'm writing earlier than usual but Neda and I were supposed to go to Vallco (yeah baby! Vallco, the place to be back in 1988) today but she went without me. I'm really upset. I was looking forward to going because I wanted to buy the piano notes for 'Forever Young' now I have to wait until somebody else wants to go. Maybe I'll take the bus on Sunday. If I'm not at S's. I'd much rather be with him. I think I'm falling in love or close to it. (here we go again) It all happened so quickly. I didn't have much of a chance to think. I'm not embarrassed to kiss him in public which I was with Scott and I really believed I loved him. S has just swept me off my feet. He's so much the gentleman. He's also a romantic. Just like me. I'm really happy about this whole thing. I was feeling quite negative for a while but now the whole world looks very positive for me. I'm getting along with my parents now, I'm in love, and I have everything I need. What more could I ask for? (how about some common sense?) So long as one has love thy have all they'll ever need, for love is the essence of life. (oh do shut up! Please!)
School is going ok. Math isn't really hard but I'm not doing very well (who am I lying to here? Math was always fucking hard! I sucked at it!) I think I might be getting a C in there. I really wanted an A or B in everything. (who is this girl? Since when did I care about getting decent grades? I truly have no memory of this time in my life..) I'm trying hard though. (I highly doubt it) I have done all my work, I just don't do very good on tests. I try but I make dumb mistakes. I'm thinking of asking my parents for a tutor. (heeheehee, I said tooter. For those of you who see me often, you know I call my female dog's privates her tooter) I'm really worried. I guess I'll just have to work harder. These days it seems as though that's almost all I do but oh well (um no, you pretty much only think of boys you nitwit!) So long as I'm happy I could care less how hard I work. Love does that to a person. Weird. I'll have to think about that. (oh yes, you go right on ahead and do that)
Stay tuned folks.. I skipped ahead and the 5th entry features a MAJOR life altering dilemma about choosing between two boys!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Being Mortified isn't all that bad
Last night I was watching a show on Netflix called Mortified: Angst Written. I laughed and I cried a little bit but mostly I laughed. It was a documentary type thing about a show that is actually produced around the U.S. and, apparently, in Sweden. Go ABBA! It is basically, from what I understand, various people reading their teenage diaries. So rad. So very rad. Of course, I was inspired to dig out all my old journals, random 'poems', letters, etc. I'm a sentimental sort so there is quite a ton of it. I was going to go back to the very first one but then I realized that my Mom had given it back to me recently and said she had a good laugh reading it. Talk about mortified. I only read the first page before I wanted to find a small hole to die in. And since I can't find it anywhere, I'm guessing my mortified self hid it. So we are moving on to 1988. My first year of high school. I sure do hope the folks who produce the show don't mind me stealing the amazingly good idea.
I'm going to just write word for word what I wrote all those years ago but I'll interject my grown up opinions, thoughts, commentary, etc. in parentheses which will often lead to rambling run on sentences but ought to be fun none the less. God, this is going to be so embarrassing...
P.S. some names will be left as capital letters only to protect the poor souls that were a part of my teenage life and in reality, to protect some bit of that poor young girls future self. Me
October 5, 1988
Writing a journal is new to me. To have a place to write down all my thoughts and feelings will be nice. I've thought about keeping one for a while now but today I finally decided to. (well clearly) I suppose since Jesse is the biggest part of my thoughts these days I'll write about him. I feel as though I really love him. I worry about him constantly. (This was my first boyfriend from 5th grade. Was I seriously still obsessing about him?! Jeesus! And I worried about him constantly??) What will happen to him? He doesn't seem to want to do much with his life. He was doing drugs for a while (I'm guessing he smoked weed but back then, that was a big deal) but Brian has seemed to get him off of it but now supposedly he is selling them. (WTF Mitra? This is who you worried about?) I don't know if that is true but I wrote him a long letter telling him I still love him and he can always count on me. (Yes Ladies and Gents, a letter) I guess he's going to write back. I'm going to ask Kian if he can spend the night Saturday night. (My parents were on a month long trip to Europe at this time and I spent the week nights at my cousin's house but my brother, who was in college, came home for the weekends and I pretty much got to do teenage things that my folks wouldn't let me do if they had known)
(yes, I wrote in paragraphs) The next thing on my mind lately is A. I love him very, very much. He has recently asked me to get engaged. (Yes, engaged. This will play out over time) I know I have to say no but how will he take it? I have torn feelings about it myself. I feel as though 14 is too young. (Ya think?) So many guys will be coming and going in my life for the next 5-7 years (5-7 honey? Try 20 years!) I can't be sure my feelings for him won't change. But then again, I do love him. (clearly I had a lot of love to go around) Why does it have to be so tough?
Now I'm working on Frank. (Christ, did I ever do homework? Or eat?) I do like him. I can't go so far as to say love but I like him. How do I let him know? I guess I'll figure out a way. I always do.
SLFN (so long for now) (I was totally ahead of my time with the LOL and TTYL and ROTFL)
Stay tuned folks, I have a lot of this crap and it could take me a long time to get through. Beyond that, it will also likely inspire some other random ramblings from my head.
I'm going to just write word for word what I wrote all those years ago but I'll interject my grown up opinions, thoughts, commentary, etc. in parentheses which will often lead to rambling run on sentences but ought to be fun none the less. God, this is going to be so embarrassing...
P.S. some names will be left as capital letters only to protect the poor souls that were a part of my teenage life and in reality, to protect some bit of that poor young girls future self. Me
October 5, 1988
Writing a journal is new to me. To have a place to write down all my thoughts and feelings will be nice. I've thought about keeping one for a while now but today I finally decided to. (well clearly) I suppose since Jesse is the biggest part of my thoughts these days I'll write about him. I feel as though I really love him. I worry about him constantly. (This was my first boyfriend from 5th grade. Was I seriously still obsessing about him?! Jeesus! And I worried about him constantly??) What will happen to him? He doesn't seem to want to do much with his life. He was doing drugs for a while (I'm guessing he smoked weed but back then, that was a big deal) but Brian has seemed to get him off of it but now supposedly he is selling them. (WTF Mitra? This is who you worried about?) I don't know if that is true but I wrote him a long letter telling him I still love him and he can always count on me. (Yes Ladies and Gents, a letter) I guess he's going to write back. I'm going to ask Kian if he can spend the night Saturday night. (My parents were on a month long trip to Europe at this time and I spent the week nights at my cousin's house but my brother, who was in college, came home for the weekends and I pretty much got to do teenage things that my folks wouldn't let me do if they had known)
(yes, I wrote in paragraphs) The next thing on my mind lately is A. I love him very, very much. He has recently asked me to get engaged. (Yes, engaged. This will play out over time) I know I have to say no but how will he take it? I have torn feelings about it myself. I feel as though 14 is too young. (Ya think?) So many guys will be coming and going in my life for the next 5-7 years (5-7 honey? Try 20 years!) I can't be sure my feelings for him won't change. But then again, I do love him. (clearly I had a lot of love to go around) Why does it have to be so tough?
Now I'm working on Frank. (Christ, did I ever do homework? Or eat?) I do like him. I can't go so far as to say love but I like him. How do I let him know? I guess I'll figure out a way. I always do.
SLFN (so long for now) (I was totally ahead of my time with the LOL and TTYL and ROTFL)
Stay tuned folks, I have a lot of this crap and it could take me a long time to get through. Beyond that, it will also likely inspire some other random ramblings from my head.
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