Yes my dear friends, there is always more..
22nd entry 11-18-88
I'm so happy! Jesse is coming to visit me on Sunday. Just when I thought I wouldn't see him again. He told me he wanted to see me. (this whole thing with Jesse started in 5th grade and man, what an obsession! We went 'around' in 5th and 6th grade. That meant we sat next to each other in assembly) My mom said ok. I really love him (shocking that) and I am thinking of running away with him. (this is so about to get embarrassing) I won't leave forever. just for a little while. A few weeks. (yes, because that is how running away works) I just want to be with him. I want to be with him forever. (I can almost hear my own breathless voice as I declare my desire) He is my life. (at least for this minute) My heart & soul. (can I reach back through time and slap myself silly?)
23rd - (yay, I finally stopped writing entry at least!) 11-21-88
Well I guess this is the 13th or 14th time for me and Jesse. He told me he still loves me. He also gave me his necklace. (well that seals it then, doesn't it?) That really means a lot to me. (I think he also gave you half of a $5 bill that you still have in a box somewhere. It was supposed to signify that you would one day be together again. I love that I have hung on to this random shit and that I still know why) He kissed me for the first time yesterday. It was strange because I've known him for 4.5 years and this was the first time we kissed. (such a silly innocent youth) I have a feeling it won't be the last. (actually, it might have been because you most likely fell in love with someone else on your way to the mailbox that day) Brian said that Jesse is just using me but I don't believe it. (why would you? He is your heart & soul for god's sake!) Jesse is a different person when he's with me. (all men are honey) He's loving and kind. I really believe that he cares. Life is great, I'm so Happy! He's coming to see me today after school. He's taking the bus from Mountain View. (now that is true love right there) He said he'd be there at 3. I can't wait. I really love him. (for the next 5 minutes)
I have some really truly awful poetry that I might need to one day include in this but for now, let's leave my embarrassment to just my journal entries.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Saturday, August 2, 2014
20th entry
Let's see what ridiculous thoughts I recorded this time.
20th entry 11-7-88
Well Kian bought me some 'reds'. (I guess this was my slang for Marlboros. Got what a horrible place to start. Not even lights, I went straight to being a cowboy) He doesn't seem to care very much. He just told me that I shouldn't. (why, why didn't I listen??) I also double pierced my ear last night. Mom and Baba haven't noticed, again. (I guess I must have done it one other time?) Zack is my boyfriend now. (i'm sure you have all rolled your eyes like I did) He's really nice and I like him so I figured why not? (much more eye rolling going on here) He obviously likes me too. (well I should hope so nitwit) We went out with Kevin, Dan Melissa, and Amy today. We were going to go to Paramount Imports (can anyone believe that place is still in business? it was like the Mecca for all things blacklight, goth, and stoner and it looks exactly the same today as it did 16 years ago) but we ran out of time. Oh-Well. It would have been fun. I am really changing. (not really, no you aren't) I cut 5th period last Thursday. Dan, Kevin, Zack, Melissa, and I went out after lunch. We went to Dan's house so that he could change then we went to Kevin's house and watched the end of Good Morning Vietnam. It was a real blast. (at least we had good taste in movies) They are really fun to be with. They accept me as one of their equals. (snort. Really, I just snorted) They only pick on me once in a while (as compared to who?) and I can handle it. I think this will be a great year. (i'm fairly sure you already mentioned that)
Any why not add one more? I'm feeling flush with the triumph of finding the large green spiral bound notebook I was looking for.
21st entry 11-16-88
I know I haven't written in a while but I've been lazy and sick. I caught bronchitis again. (man, I was always sick because of bronchitis) It's not going well with Zack. He seems to be ignoring me. Maybe hes just too occupied with other things but he still hangs all over Gretchen. (Grrr! Gretchen. you poor thing, she is always stealing your boyfriends throughout high school. she eventually gets your 'first' to cheat on you and you will spend years making even more bad decisions about men because of it. Feh on her) I'm still very in love with Jesse. (wait, not Zack?) He told me that when he turns 16 he's going to run away. (because that is such a mature age to set out on your own) If he does I want to go with him. I told him that and he said he'd take me. (oh the stupid dreams of teenagers are so annoying!) I love him so much that sometimes it hurts.
I can barely keep up with all the guys I was supposedly in love with. It is kind of funny that I totally remember (almost) all of them. I was so completely convinced each and every time that this was the love of my life.
20th entry 11-7-88
Well Kian bought me some 'reds'. (I guess this was my slang for Marlboros. Got what a horrible place to start. Not even lights, I went straight to being a cowboy) He doesn't seem to care very much. He just told me that I shouldn't. (why, why didn't I listen??) I also double pierced my ear last night. Mom and Baba haven't noticed, again. (I guess I must have done it one other time?) Zack is my boyfriend now. (i'm sure you have all rolled your eyes like I did) He's really nice and I like him so I figured why not? (much more eye rolling going on here) He obviously likes me too. (well I should hope so nitwit) We went out with Kevin, Dan Melissa, and Amy today. We were going to go to Paramount Imports (can anyone believe that place is still in business? it was like the Mecca for all things blacklight, goth, and stoner and it looks exactly the same today as it did 16 years ago) but we ran out of time. Oh-Well. It would have been fun. I am really changing. (not really, no you aren't) I cut 5th period last Thursday. Dan, Kevin, Zack, Melissa, and I went out after lunch. We went to Dan's house so that he could change then we went to Kevin's house and watched the end of Good Morning Vietnam. It was a real blast. (at least we had good taste in movies) They are really fun to be with. They accept me as one of their equals. (snort. Really, I just snorted) They only pick on me once in a while (as compared to who?) and I can handle it. I think this will be a great year. (i'm fairly sure you already mentioned that)
Any why not add one more? I'm feeling flush with the triumph of finding the large green spiral bound notebook I was looking for.
21st entry 11-16-88
I know I haven't written in a while but I've been lazy and sick. I caught bronchitis again. (man, I was always sick because of bronchitis) It's not going well with Zack. He seems to be ignoring me. Maybe hes just too occupied with other things but he still hangs all over Gretchen. (Grrr! Gretchen. you poor thing, she is always stealing your boyfriends throughout high school. she eventually gets your 'first' to cheat on you and you will spend years making even more bad decisions about men because of it. Feh on her) I'm still very in love with Jesse. (wait, not Zack?) He told me that when he turns 16 he's going to run away. (because that is such a mature age to set out on your own) If he does I want to go with him. I told him that and he said he'd take me. (oh the stupid dreams of teenagers are so annoying!) I love him so much that sometimes it hurts.
I can barely keep up with all the guys I was supposedly in love with. It is kind of funny that I totally remember (almost) all of them. I was so completely convinced each and every time that this was the love of my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)