Is it possible? Have we reached the exciting conclusion of my saga with S? Well folks, let's take a look and find out.
I had a nice long talk with Dan today. (Wish I had bothered to put his last name. Dan who?) It was fun. He's a great guy. S and I aren't going to last. I'll probably break up with him tomorrow. (I'm pretty sure from what I have read that you may already be broken up) He's driving me crazy. Zack told me today that S told him that he likes somebody else. How could he ever say he loved me? (I'm not really feeling the anguish here that one would expect from a silly teenager who has been saying things like 'He is too important to me') When I say that, I mean it. (yeah and you'll mean it a whole lot more in your lifetime) I still care about S but I can't take this shit anymore. Scott told me I should break up with him for my own sanity. (Sadly, sanity and I have never really known one another) I'm beginning to believe it. He's being AN ASSHOLE! (yes, for some reason I capitalized 'an' as well) I never talk to him anymore. (another clue that perhaps you have already broken up) It's becoming bad for both of us. (I doubt that, I suspect he is happy to be rid of you) I cried a lot over the weekend about this but I know what I must do. It's over. :'( (Yes, I did actually draw a sad face with tears. I had no idea I invented emoticons!) I just have to square my shoulders and go on with my life. (Christ, where the hell do I get all these clichés?) There will be other. (so very many of them) I've decided not to go to the formal. After all this, I don't deserve to go. I failed S. (oh for fuck's sake woman..the drama! I totally wasn't even into soap operas, where did I get all this drama?) I suppose I could have held on but it's not worth it. 2 days left until Mom and Baba come home. I'm really happy. I miss them a lot! (really? I missed my parents? I totally don't remember that)
Well ladies and gents, it looks like I have finally given up on S..or have I?
Friday, June 27, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
11th entry 10-20-88 and 12th entry 10-21-88
Yes folks, I have returned with yet another chapter in my high school diary saga. Enjoy my embarrassment.
THINGS REALLY aren't going too well. (yeah, for some reason I felt the need to capitalize both words) S is ignoring my pleas for a talk. He's talking to me now but he's acting as though nothing is wrong. (guess what, it'll prepare you for your future) I agree with what Zack said but I can't talk to S if he won't listen. What's going on? I've got to do something before it all falls apart. I won't let that happen. (sorry sweetie, totally beyond your control but you get an A for effort) It's too important to me. (for those of you who have been following along you'll understand why I say 'Jesus woman, we get that part already!') I have a feeling that he needs me. Sort of like a sixth sense. (oh god, what the hell was I reading at the time? I totally must have gotten that from some book) I have to just tell him a few things then maybe it'll all work out. ( I'm dying to know what those few things were. I didn't bother to tell them to myself)
North and South has been on tv recently. I'm really into it. It's a pretty intense movie. (I'm guessing I was just really into Patrick Swayze but then again, I was a huge fan of Gone With the Wind so maybe I was just really into the misery of the Civil War)
10-21-88 (Friday)
For some reason this one time I needed to put the day of the week down too. Who knows why but enjoy.
10:30am I'm on the verge of tears right now. S is growing too distant. I don't have any idea what's happening (we've established this already) He won't come near me anymore. (I'm guessing he has broken up with you, he just hasn't bothered to tell you yet) He doesn't seem to care anylonger. (yes, one word apparently) HELP ME! (oh honey, if only you were smart enough to help yourself)
Stay tuned for the 13th entry and possible conclusion to the S drama!
THINGS REALLY aren't going too well. (yeah, for some reason I felt the need to capitalize both words) S is ignoring my pleas for a talk. He's talking to me now but he's acting as though nothing is wrong. (guess what, it'll prepare you for your future) I agree with what Zack said but I can't talk to S if he won't listen. What's going on? I've got to do something before it all falls apart. I won't let that happen. (sorry sweetie, totally beyond your control but you get an A for effort) It's too important to me. (for those of you who have been following along you'll understand why I say 'Jesus woman, we get that part already!') I have a feeling that he needs me. Sort of like a sixth sense. (oh god, what the hell was I reading at the time? I totally must have gotten that from some book) I have to just tell him a few things then maybe it'll all work out. ( I'm dying to know what those few things were. I didn't bother to tell them to myself)
North and South has been on tv recently. I'm really into it. It's a pretty intense movie. (I'm guessing I was just really into Patrick Swayze but then again, I was a huge fan of Gone With the Wind so maybe I was just really into the misery of the Civil War)
10-21-88 (Friday)
For some reason this one time I needed to put the day of the week down too. Who knows why but enjoy.
10:30am I'm on the verge of tears right now. S is growing too distant. I don't have any idea what's happening (we've established this already) He won't come near me anymore. (I'm guessing he has broken up with you, he just hasn't bothered to tell you yet) He doesn't seem to care anylonger. (yes, one word apparently) HELP ME! (oh honey, if only you were smart enough to help yourself)
Stay tuned for the 13th entry and possible conclusion to the S drama!
Friday, June 6, 2014
10th entry 10-19-88
Here comes the next one folks. Spelling errors and all.
It's not working! S seems to be growing further and further away. More and more distant. Zack said I should talk to him but every time I try he walks away. Zack also said that S mentioned something about the fact that I hang around too many guys but that can't be true. I spend all my time with him. The jealousy bit doesn't fit him. I don't understand what's happening. I don't seem to have any control over my life anymore, I just let things happen. (welcome to being a teenager) GOD! I kneed (yes, I spelled it that way) help! I feel crazy sometimes, like I just might let go. (let go of what?) I feel like giving up on S but I can't. I know he cares but why does he lie to me? The stories and lies are driving me mad. What can I do? If he won't talk to me or let me talk to him then.....? I just want his trust. You can't love someone you don't trust. RIGHT? I can't go on forever like this. What if this is it? I don't want to live without him. (oh the drama woman!) I do care too much. I never thought there was such a thing as caring too much but I've done it. (oh yay, what an achievement!) I just can't stop. I've never stopped caring about anyone, nor will I. (just you wait toots)
My parents return in less than a week. Well actually it is a week. WOW! They've been gone almost a month already. It sure hasn't felt like it. I sort of miss them. I've had fun though. I probably still will. They've been cool lately. It's good.
I like how I ended it like that. It's good. I'm clearly the predecessor to 'It's all good'. I also think it is funny that I wrote that I'd probably still have fun. I wonder if I had any odds on that one.
It's not working! S seems to be growing further and further away. More and more distant. Zack said I should talk to him but every time I try he walks away. Zack also said that S mentioned something about the fact that I hang around too many guys but that can't be true. I spend all my time with him. The jealousy bit doesn't fit him. I don't understand what's happening. I don't seem to have any control over my life anymore, I just let things happen. (welcome to being a teenager) GOD! I kneed (yes, I spelled it that way) help! I feel crazy sometimes, like I just might let go. (let go of what?) I feel like giving up on S but I can't. I know he cares but why does he lie to me? The stories and lies are driving me mad. What can I do? If he won't talk to me or let me talk to him then.....? I just want his trust. You can't love someone you don't trust. RIGHT? I can't go on forever like this. What if this is it? I don't want to live without him. (oh the drama woman!) I do care too much. I never thought there was such a thing as caring too much but I've done it. (oh yay, what an achievement!) I just can't stop. I've never stopped caring about anyone, nor will I. (just you wait toots)
My parents return in less than a week. Well actually it is a week. WOW! They've been gone almost a month already. It sure hasn't felt like it. I sort of miss them. I've had fun though. I probably still will. They've been cool lately. It's good.
I like how I ended it like that. It's good. I'm clearly the predecessor to 'It's all good'. I also think it is funny that I wrote that I'd probably still have fun. I wonder if I had any odds on that one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)