Hello dear readers! We are skipping forward to February of 1989, mainly because I don't seem to have written anything between the end of the last journal and this point. I'm sure if I had kept one during this time, it would say something like 'I'm in love with ... and I'm now in love with... and how am I ever going to live without...' You get the point. So let's move on and see what I had to say when I was 14 and a half.
2-27-89 (I stopped numbering my entries finally!) (Oh, and at the top of the page is a poorly drawn peace symbol, I wish I could figure out how to add pictures to this..)
Well I'm starting my journal to you. It'll be a book when I'm done. (No, at this point I don't know who I am writing this to but I'm sure I'll figure it out as we go along) I'm using it not only as a place to write the days happenings but also a place to put down ideas, thoughts and feelings. (so apparently you are aware of what a journal is for. Good for you.) It's a good idea. Thank you.
(then I put a little asterisk in the middle of page. I guess I was signifying a change of subject)
I've started to straighten out my life now. (snort) Since I know that someday we are to be married (I'm impressed I made it this far before wanting to choke my teenage self) I can work towards that goal. I need solidness in my life (like having a great family, both parents still married to each other, and living in Saratoga wasn't solid?) and now I have it. I'm going to better in school (snort again), I mean really work hard. I'm going to get a job once school is doing better, and I'm going to be good. (snort, snort, snort!) No more smoking or shit like that. (sure whatever you say) I'm still going to drink coffee though. I love it.
(asterisk *)
I've dreamed of marrying somebody I love with all my heart since I was a little girl. (and that is how you ended up in the trouble you are in today) Now my dream has come true. (well, not really. you exactly married at this point you nitwit) I wish time would go faster. (Christ, kids are fucking annoying) Six years seems like a long time from now. I know that once it has gone by it'll seem as though it took no time at all. (that might be the first intelligent thing I had ever said) But, I'm impatient when it comes to waiting 10 min for dinner. 10 minutes is nothing compared to six years.
(*)
I've always, well not always because the thought hit me recently (ugh, you need to be slapped) wondered if you think I'm too much younger than you. I know it won't matter in 6-10 years but what about now?
(*)
Tomorrow is one of my friends birthdays. Francis. (ah Franny, I remember this day) We, a group of friends, are going to embarrass the hell out of him because we bought him flowers, a balloon, streamers, and a card. (apparently we are all assholes too. why would we go out of our way to make someone feel embarrassed?) He's a pretty shy guy so it'll be cute. (again, we are assholes)
(*)
(anyone sick of the asterisks yet?) I keep changing subject's huh? (thanks for clueing in) I guess I only have so much to say about one thing. (and yet so much to say in general)
See you next time for 2-28-89 where at the top of the page I wrote 'is love not the best thing of all?' God, I don't know how much more of myself I can handle.
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