22nd entry (what am I going to call them when I stop numbering them?)

Yes my dear friends, there is always more..


     22nd entry  11-18-88

     I'm so happy! Jesse is coming to visit me on Sunday. Just when I thought I wouldn't see him again. He told me he wanted to see me. (this whole thing with Jesse started in 5th grade and man, what an obsession! We went 'around' in 5th and 6th grade. That meant we sat next to each other in assembly) My mom said ok. I really love him (shocking that) and I am thinking of running away with him. (this is so about to get embarrassing) I won't leave forever. just for a little while. A few weeks. (yes, because that is how running away works) I just want to be with him. I want to be with him forever. (I can almost hear my own breathless voice as I declare my desire) He is my life. (at least for this minute) My heart & soul. (can I reach back through time and slap myself silly?)


     23rd - (yay, I finally stopped writing entry at least!)  11-21-88

     Well I guess this is the 13th or 14th time for me and Jesse. He told me he still loves me. He also gave me his necklace. (well that seals it then, doesn't it?) That really means a lot to me. (I think he also gave you half of a $5 bill that you still have in a box somewhere. It was supposed to signify that you would one day be together again. I love that I have hung on to this random shit and that I still know why) He kissed me for the first time yesterday. It was strange because I've known him for 4.5 years and this was the first time we kissed. (such a silly innocent youth) I have a feeling it won't be the last. (actually, it might have been because you most likely fell in love with someone else on your way to the mailbox that day) Brian said that Jesse is just using me but I don't believe it. (why would you? He is your heart & soul for god's sake!) Jesse is a different person when he's with me. (all men are honey) He's loving and kind. I really believe that he cares. Life is great, I'm so Happy! He's coming to see me today after school. He's taking the bus from Mountain View. (now that is true love right there) He said he'd be there at 3. I can't wait. I really love him. (for the next 5 minutes)


I have some really truly awful poetry that I might need to one day include in this but for now, let's leave my embarrassment to just my journal entries.