Wow, I'm honored

I have had a few people recently who told me that they actually read my blog and enjoy it. (You guys deserve mention because it did impact me, my cousin Naseim and my awesome friend Bobby) What a moment of suprise for me, self satisfaction. I like to think I'm fucking cool but mostly I doubt it and wonder how much of a burden I truly am on those around me. Especially when my ego takes over and I forget to think of the feelings that other people might have. Hearing that people who don't feel obligated still read what I have to say inspires me. I grew up watching my dad dismiss my mother and her opinions, feelings, thoughts, to the point that I hated being a girl (woman as time went on). I've always thought that if I don't say it loud, it won't be heard. I became opinionated even when I didn't believe in myself just to have something to say. Now I'm saying all those things that I held back out of fear and shame and there are actually people listening. How is that possible? When I am around my friends, or family, or even acquaintances, I want to open up, I want to share, but I find myself halfway through a ramble wondering if they are even listening at all. Especially because I suck at listening. Actually, no, I do listen, I just can't retain most of the time and that is because I am too absorbed in relating. I am mainly trying to find common ground but to such an extent that I don't focus and that seems mean.So I'm sorry to anyone out there that has spoken to me, shared, discussed and then realized that I am in a different part of our conversation. I don't do it on purpose and I do appreciate your being.