Good news readers! I have found the green spiral bound notebook! That means I don't have to hoard the few entries I had left in the current book. There are definitely some gaps in time but whatever, like ohmigod, it is totally tubular! Sorry, had to fall into 80's high school speak for a second there. Anyway, enjoy!
Scott wants me to get back together with him. (no wonder I only weighed 90 lbs. in high school, I clearly never had time to eat) I am really mixed up as to what to do. (well you kind of answered your own dilemma there, if you have to stop to think about it...) I had the chance for a perfect love and I threw it away. Twice. (good god, what the hell is a perfect love in your mind you silly addled child?) Scott wants to break up with his girlfriend and I'm afraid I would be just an excuse. I don't love him anymore. (then what the fuck is there to be mixed up about? ugh, I'm getting sick of you) Well, I do but not as much. I love him as a good friend and I don't want to risk ruining that. (don't worry, he'll be in and out of your life for a really really long time and actually when the friendship does end, you'll be really bummed out because it wasn't even over something that should have ended it) Besides, its time to go on with my life. (Christ woman, who will be your 'moving on')
19th entry ( I really hope that I eventually stop with the numbering of my entries) 11-3-88
Well I've been put on stage crew for the school play. (I totally remember this time frame and it was so much fun!) Zack's on it too. It's pretty fun but it's lots of hard work. ( I totally don't remember hard work, I remember lots of goofing off and laughter. I also remember not knowing that you never say 'good luck' to actors and when I did the first night of the play, everyone totally freaked out, I was so devastated.) I'm doing it so I can be with Dan and Zack. (c'mon, is anyone really even a little bit shocked about this revelation? You certainly weren't doing it for the hard work or fun since you don't seem to be able to do anything that doesn't involve a boy) Zack is a great friend and I know I can trust him. I don't know Dan very well but I sort of like him. (what, you aren't in love already?) He's funny but I know I don't have any chance whatsoever. But I can keep dreaming can't I? (oh please do, dream away little girl) I think I'm probably going to start smoking again. (did I seriously spend time making that decision? Why oh why did I choose so wrong? Look annoying little girl, you deciding to do that has made for a lifetime struggle for me. Thanks.) I'll watch it and I'll try not to get addicted (I'm making sarcastic snorting noises here) but I just want to. Kevin might get me some if I ask him. Kian might too but I don't want Kian to know I smoke because he might tell Mom and Baba. (my poor big brother. He walked the line between being the cool older brother and not letting me get into too much trouble quite well)
See you soon for another installment of my annoying teenage self!
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