8th entry - 10-14-88

Here we go folks, the next chapter in my little high school saga ~

     What a beautiful day! It's a bit cloudy and rainy but other than that it's beautiful! Nothing could ruin my day except, of course, S. (a bit of foreshadowing maybe?) I know he really cares about me. I'm really happy. I'm really high today, higher than I ever could be on acid. Ha ha.  (yes, sadly I had a love affair with acid in high school. Probably not the best thing but hey, these days kids are doing meth and that is way worse) I feel really guilty though. I haven't written to Arj in a long time. He's written to me a lot but I haven't bothered to send anything I've written. Horrible! Yuck! (yes, I actually wrote that) I should send one this weekend. If I don't I'll feel really bad.
     It's FRIDAY! I get to go home this weekend. I hope Kian will let me go to S's again. He probably will, he's pretty cool about that stuff. He's been letting me do just about anything. The only thing he's said 'no' to is a party but I didn't really want to have one anyway. (this is true. I was never really into having parties. It seemed like it would be far too much effort for the trouble I might have gotten in to. Not to mention the fact that anytime I did anything wrong, I always got caught) It would be too much of a risk. (see) They aren't that much fun anyway. I'm having a blast on the weekends with just Kian and Terri by going to movies and stuff. (I've always loved my big brother. Hanging out with him was totally the highlight of my life) I'm almost out of money though. I really have to get some more. Mom and Baba owe me about $50.00 for watering the house (they had a vacant house that they were trying to sell and I was getting paid to go over there and water the yard. I highly doubt they would have paid me to water our own yard but who knows..) By the time they get back it'll be at about $98.00. (about 98? About is more like 95 or 100 but 98 is pretty specific kid) I'm really happy. (yes, so you've mentioned) The year looks really promising. I've got a wonderful boyfriend, I'm doing pretty good (not well, good) in my classes, I've got money, my parents and I are getting along, and everything is just great. (little smiley face drawn at this point)

And just because I've made you all wait to long..here is the next entry.

9th entry  - 10/17/88

     I think S is mad at me for some reason or something else is wrong. He's seems (yes, I totally used he's and seems) sort of detached lately, distant. It's weird. Before he always wanted to hold me or touch me or just be near me and not it seems as though he could care less. I suppose I should talk to him about it but what if he won't talk to me? (honey, this is a clear indication that it is over. Boys don't talk. They pull away. You will experience this a lot in your life, get used to it.) What if he lies? I know he's hiding something from me but what? Why should he hide anything? (oh, poor you. you have no idea what you are in for in life) I'm willing to take everything and anything. I want to help if possible. (boys don't want help. ever.) He seems to think he's crazy. I disagree. (yes, because you are such an expert.) Neda told me that he tells people stories to get attention. He told me that some of his friends have died but I asked his best friend and he said it wasn't true. Why would he lie? What's the point? (he is trying to get away from you without actually being the one to break up, just sayin) I can't figure it out. One minute he tells me he loves me and the next he barely seems to notice me. What can it be?
     So many questions and no answers. S H I T!! (I actually had little triangles at the bottom of my exclamation points. what was that all about?) I don't want to lose him and if I can help it, I won't. He's too important. But how can I tell him how important he is? (oh probably by being all clingy and asking him what is wrong every ten seconds. I'd start there)